Is probably the same reason mine are: because you keep blowing kisses to your millions of teenage fans.

But bizarrely, there are other reasons for our lips to become dry.

Other reasons as to why no matter what you use, and what you do, your lips are tight, flaky, dry and essentially, showing you physically how furious at you for not tending to them properly or protecting the properly in the first place (from heat, heaters, wind, cold, snow, the sun or too much making out), and failing to buying them that pony you continue to promise them even though you know the yard isn’t big enough.

1. You have been using a lip barrier, not a lip balm.

And chances are that barrier is full of petroleum, which is a mineral oil derivative, and which I will not sanction if you are genuinely serious about healing dry lips, because IT WON’T DO SHIT. All it can hope to do is act like cling wrap over your lips, a film of thick grease. But it can not add moisture or encourage hydration. It just can’t. So sure, if your lips are in cracking shape and you are about to go out into the wind, load up. But if they are sore and cracked and painful, don’t mistake that lubricating feeling for moisturisation, cause only a dingus would do that, and I’ve seen your report card, and you’re no dingus.

2. You have used cosmetics that are drying.    

Like most lipsticks and glosses, sadly. Gosh, some are just the WORST aren’t they? Such a G-damn shame too, because the colour, texture and finish might be outstanding, but the next day your lips are ripped to shreds with creases and cracks. I wore one of my favourite red long-last lipsticks to dinner the night before my weddingbecause my skin was looking terrific thanks to 400 facials and red lips was all I wanted/needed, and it was a very very very bad idea because the day of my wedding my lips were a mess. Idiot.

But it’s not just lip products. Often you can involantarily swipe some BB cream or foundation or even moisturiser (especailly those with AHAs) over your lips and thatcan cause havoc. Gone are the days when people like me with blogs like this would tell you to press concealer all over your lips before applying lipstick, because all that does is dry the HECK out of your lips. (You’d use a lip primer or just a nude lip pencil instead.)

3. You are dehydrated.

Whenever I’m having my makeup done and have dry lips (“most of the time”) two times out of three the makeup artist will scold me for not drinking enough water. The lips are one of the first places on the body to show a lack of water in the system, so pay heed. Also, think about what you’ve been doing when next you have dry lips, it’s viable you’ve been depriving your body of water, whether from too many blankets at night, or travel, or partying. It will take a day or so to get them back on track, and get those water levels up in the body, so start sipping, man.

4. The environment is walloping you.

Heaters in winter, air con in summer, snow, wind, sun, salt… it’s almost like the earth has shares in Burt’s Bees.The thing is to be prepared: prevent rather than treat. So before you even board that plane, or head of for a day at the beach, or settle down in front of that roaring fire (you are a Girl Guide’s leader, right?), think lips. Protect and nourish them with a lovely moisturising lip balm (or even barrier at this stage if you are so inclined.) And of course, use SPF for all day time/sun activities. Otherwise you get burnt lips, aged lips and maybe – if you’re real lucky – a cold sore.

5. You keep licking them.

Have some self-restraint for God’s sake. It’s the lip equivelant of giving a drunk girl more tequila because she’s thirsty. Don’t do it.

When you find yourself with very irritated, very dry lips, I recommend:

– Sipping a litre or two of water over the next couple of hours. Not gulping as you’ll just wizzwozz it all out.

– Taking a warm, damp face cloth and gently, so gently, exfoliating your lips by massaging the cloth over them in small circles. Some will tell you to use a toothbrush for this. Ignore them. They are morons.

– Smearing some (manuka if possible) honey to the lips and letting it sit for 10 minutes.

– Press it into the lips so it’s all gone, then apply a nourishing lip balm of your choice.

I would love to recommend a bunch of great lip balms at this point, (I won’t be recommending a certain red tube which is petroleum based and although great for cuticles, bites and rashes, is not healthy for or useful for the lips) but to be very honest, I’m pretty disenchanted with the whole category. None seem to work for me, and I have tried, I would think, more than the average woman due to my job/travels/the first question I ask any skin or makeup expert what they use and then buying it.

Currently I am using Lanolips 101 ointment which I like for its thickness, and I also have a Lavera stick in my bag for when I inevitably leave the Lanolips in a pocket, or on the floor of the car. And I like the Mecca Lip De-Luscious SPF 25 too, it’s creamy and a bit shiny and glossy, although generally I don’t wear ones with SPF at night.

What do you use?

Why?

Will it fix me?